Sunday, March 21, 2010

Sickness+Guilt+Wreak+More Sickness=Bad Week

There are just some weeks you want to pretend never happened. Last week was one of those weeks for me. Now, I will say, that for every bad thing that happened, it could have been so much worse. So I am grateful that the badness was kept at a minimum, but it STILL was a crappy week. It started with Monday evening when Robbie picked Jake up from daycare. He had a 100 degree fever, so that meant he couldn't come back to daycare for at least 24 hours. Argh! He wasn't even acting sick. It's been a frustrating year with missing school. It seems like once a week every other week either school is closed because of the weather or Jake has a minor sickness that he has to stay out. It makes it hard, because it is just Robbie & I juggling that schedule. Today's job economy is not exactly great for telling your company every other week, that you are going to be out. But what can you do? Well, I guess the daycare knew what they were talking about, because sure enough, Tuesday morning, Jake wakes up sick. So I took the morning shift & Robbie took the afternoon shift. Poor little guy. He had a cough & was stopped up. Robbie & I just kept our fingers crossed that he would be well enough in the morning to go back to school. I could tell that Wednesday morning, that he didn't feel great, but he wasn't running a fever. When I got him up, he wanted to drink his milk while sitting in my lap rocking him (usually he wants to run around). I felt so horrible. I knew that he just wanted to stay home & mom rock him. But things have been over-whelmingly (is that even a word?) busy at work. We are dealing with 1/2 less of our staff, but the same amount of work load. We had to at least try daycare. I felt so guilty dropping him off. I'm so torn between trying to be a good employee & a good mom. It is those mornings that being a mom working outside the home weighs so heavy on my heart. So I drop Jake off & tell them to just call us if he starts feeling bad. Then, after I leave daycare & am on my way to work, I get in a wreck! ARGH! I am just so thankful that Jake wasn't with me. I hit a truck with a front steel bumper, so the lady driving the truck was okay & her damage was minimum (again, thankful). But my poor altima didn't make it. They whole front end is crushed and both air bags deployed. I am okay. I had a seat belt burn on my chest & unfortunately, I was wearing a multi-strand wooded beaded necklace. When the airbag came out it punched my chest (thankfully not my face!!). All of the beads dug into & cut my skin, so it looked like 100 cats clawed my chest. But by today, they are all pretty much gone. For those of you who know me, know that I hate driving & am terrified of it. So now I am even more terrified. I've driven a few times since the wreck, but I swear I feel like I am having a panic attack when I do. Can you go to therapy for this? And I absolutely do not want to drive with Jake in the car. My heart races even thinking about it. So... the bad week couldn't end there. By Thursday, I had whatever Jake had. My head felt like it was going to explode. I was stopped up & my throat was killing me. It was Robbie's mom's spring break, so Mimi & Granddad were going to keep Jake Thursday through Sunday. Robbie & I had been looking forward to this for weeks. We planned on meeting up after work on Friday. We were going to dinner & then meet up with friends afterwards. I made it to dinner, but felt horrible. All I felt like doing was going home & going to bed. I'm so disappointed. After dinner we headed home. So much for enjoying a night on the town without the munchkin. The final nail in the coffin, is that I have lost a note pad. I (in a stupid pregnant decision) decided to make Jake's baby book. Needless to say, I'm over a year behind in completing it. But I've been working hard on it the last few weeks & it is close to being completed. I'd written down all of the pages layout, content, etc... in this note pad. And now I can't find it. I've torn the house apart looking for it. I can't find it anywhere. So there you have it. My no good very bad week. I write this to get it off my chest. It's time to stop worrying it, whining about it, crying about it. It's time to just give it to God. Nothing I can do now can change anything that happened last week. And there are so many people going through things so much worse. I did have a devotion this week on tough times though. (Isn't it funny how God works?!?) The verse was Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for You are with me. Psalm 23:4. The prayer for that day was "Father, thank You that no matter where I am, You are there with me. When I go through difficult times, remind me of Your constant presence." While the past week was bad, I know that there will be worse. But thankfully we have a Lord who will be by our side through it all.

And while I would like to forget that last week existed, 2 really great things happened to other people! My best friend Amanda's little boy, Gabe, celebrated his 2nd birthday on Wednesday. Happy Birthday Gabe! I promise you & your mom will get your birthday gifts at least by next year!! Also, our friends Travis & Paulette had their son on Wednesday too! Welcome to the world Jonathan Henry!!

Not a lot of pictures from last week, but I had a few of Jake from St. Patrick's Day morning. I can't find our camera bag though, so I'll have to post them later. Sorry for all of the reading & no pictures!!

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