Elf on the Shelf Failure

If you are on Facebook, you've probably heard all about the Elf on the Shelf. I swore I would not cave (famous last words). I think the elf is creepy looking, expensive & the last thing I need is a toy making a mess in my house which is already a big enough mess for me to clean up. Anyway, I tend to go overboard on things & I'd much rather be thinking up expensive, supposedly cheap, DIY Christmas projects than ways to stick a stuff toy in sugar like its making a snow angel. So Elf on the Shelf-less family we were.

And then I felt bad.

Jake so far has been funny about Christmas. He is excited. He only thinks Santa brings candy canes & he said "no thanks". While proud that my child was not focus on Santa during Christmas, I was sad I was missing out on that very important bargaining chip. Jake got extremely excited when we went to get a Christmas tree (which is a long funny boring story in itself). So I thought, well, maybe he would think Elf the creep on the Shelf was neat.

Since money is low since I'm doing my fabulous "cheap" DIY Christmas decor, we borrowed my mom's copy.

I've never read the book or heard the story. So I read the book to Jake while he plays with the elf. Then I get to the part in the book where it says that you can never touch the elf because it will loose its magic.

Whoops.

At the end of the book, it tells you to name the elf. I asked Jake what he would like to name it. He says "Elf on the Shelf". I try telling him that is not a name. It needs to be a name like Murry, Gary , Larry, Moe, etc... Jake looks at me again & says "his name is Elf on a Shelf". He will not budge.

So our elf's name is Elf on a Shelf.

I try telling Jake Elf on a Shelf (EOTS) will watch him to see if he has been good or bad & will report it back to Santa. Which I'm pretty sure Jake doesn't care because he thinks Santa only brings candy canes. And Jake doesn't like candy canes. So basically, Jake just looks at me like I'm an idiot. I keep trying to talk about the stuffed elf & it's magical powers & how he will move around & we will never know where he will be in the morning.

And I feel like an idiot for telling this ridiculous story.

We lay EOTS on the coffee table & go about our business. The next morning, Jake wakes up & comes to our room. He asks if we can find where the EOTS is hiding.

Whoops.

EOTS is still laying on the coffee table.

I tell Jake that I have to check something & I'll be right back. I run to the living room & throw EOTS in our undecorated Christmas tree. I then have to convince Jake to stop pouting & he can now "help" mommy. We go to find EOTS.

He finds him in the tree, knocks him down with his sword, and then goes about his way.

I guess when you play with them, that "magical powers" is for the birds.

Since then, because I refuse to let our elf make a mess (which I have no idea why people do that, in the book there is no mention of a messy elf) I basically just stick him in places.

I stuck him in our breakfast nook chandelier which was turned on & he almost overheated. I also hung him from a kitchen cabinet knob which was a little too close to the gas burner on our stove.

No underwear in the Christmas tree. No rolling the room with toilet paper. No powdered sugar everywhere.

If EOTS doesn't burn our house down this Christmas season, it will be a success.